The Zero's Drabbles
by AshirogiAji de Mars
Summary: Random drabblings concerning the lives and mishaps of Louise, Saito, Henrietta, and etc. Hinted pairings now and then. Some characters may go OOC, but this is often intentional. R&R!
1. Ordinary Day

**Ordinary Day.**

Louise woke up to find Saito still sleeping. With that, she got up and changed into her academy uniform, taking her time. After she was done, she looked down at the familiar on the haystack.

_He's still asleep... that lazy dog._

And with that, Saito was making weird... _disturbing_... poses. Louise stepped back, afraid that he was being controlled by some magic. In a drunk voice he said, "Louise... I never knew you were so...AUGHHHHHHHH!!!" Louise stomped on his head, knocking him out. But after a few seconds he woke up, rubbing his head... and did the chaccaron maccaron; this is what Louise calls Saito's Morning Dance. _He is awake, and he is still the normal baka._ She was sad, yet happy that he wasn't possessed, and was somewhat beaming.

"Eh... Louise? Why are you looking at me like that?" Embarrassed, Louise fixed her glance at the dreaded drawer with a horse whip. "That must've been an interesting dream... you PERVERTED DOG!" Saito was beaten up a good deal. _It's indeed an ordinary day._

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The duo was walking toward the classroom. Everyone was energetic, up and about. Saito rubbed his head. _How the heck can these people continue on?_ His eyes lit up when he saw Siesta. "Oui! Good morning!!" Siesta looked at him and smiled. Louise was even more outraged when she blew a kiss. "Look, Saito. A familiar dating other people is rather abnormal. Even if you are a human, you must only look up to the master and you must not leech about any other girls!" She switched to a whisper. "Except..." She shook her head. _Bad thoughts, bad thoughts! What would your parents namely your father think!?!?_ Saito looked at her. "Except...??" "None of your business!" She kicked him in the shin.

As Saito glanced around, everyone else too was going on with their business... Guiche was reciting something that must've come from Romeo/Juliet. Montmorency didn't understand a thing, yet she somehow was playing with her hair as if trying to get Guiche to notice, as he talked to another 'friend' of his... or another one of what Montmorency calls 'his new possibilities.'

The boys were lining up to see Kirche. It was a normal scene, but today it was even wierder. "Your feet! They are perfection! So curvy, and chubby in the right places! That toe, may I lick it??" The wrestling match has begun. "Hmph! I'm not letting you lick her pineapple flavored-!" "How do you know it tastes like pineapple you stalker!" "You're saying that you're not one!?" Kirche was bored so she blew them all up. "Aw, come on, Tabitha! This is fun, you should join in!" However, the blue-haired bookworm continued to read. _How the heck does she stand there as if it was nothing!? Well, those two are friends so they must be used to each other's antics._ When Saito got a glance of the book she was reading, he was surprised as it said in plain english: "From the Other Side of the World: 101 Methods for Cowtipping"

Louise looked in the same direction and finding the situation disturbing, she yanked Saito's hood, making him jerk forward.

_Today was certainly ordinary. _


	2. Watching from Afar

**Watching from Afar...**

_AuthorNote: This is sorta novel based... SPOILER!! _

_Tabitha's dragon Sylphid could transform into a human._

_Also hinted after volume 10, another girl unexpectedly falls for Saito in place of her friend..._

Saito was doing Louise's laundry. "Ah, dammit! In 4 days she wears all this!?" He dumps out a month's worth of clothing. "She's doing this on purpose isn't she... at least today's a nice day..." He started to sing about teriyaki burgers.

Meanwhile, a blue-haired girl reads a book titled Teleporting Random Stuff: For Dummies. Her faithful familiar comes down out of nowhere and transforms into her human form.

"BOO!"

Tabitha turned around. "If anyone was around and saw you–!"

"Relaaax, relax! There's no one around!"

The bookworm pointed towards Saito, who was now getting help from Siesta. "They would've noticed..." Sylphid shook her head. "Well, they didn't notice a thing! They might not even know a thing about you spying on there _romance!_"

"I- I'm not–!?"

Sylphid glomped Tabitha much to the petite figure's chagrin. "Mmmmmmmhmm... Either you're bored to death in all reality, and like the old days, you're trying to stir up something naughty; you wanna hook 'em up, right?? Or maybe..." The "human" nodded with a smirk. "You're trying to ruin there relationship so you could have that commoner... er, _cute_ commoner to yourself!"

"Don't speak of such nonsense, please..." Tabitha looked slightly annoyed, but her usual monotone voice was a bit insecure. Knowing this really well, Sylphid put her hand on her head. "No worries, I won't tell! Well, good luck! I'll be taking my leave now–!?"

Tabitha covered Sylphid's mouth and pointed towards Saito and Siesta. Louise was walking towards the two commoners, yet Sylphid and Tabitha were in her eye range as well. Sylphid dragged the smaller girl behind a bush, and the two watched Louise's usual ranting at Saito.

"You're just a familiar... JUST... A FAMILIAR!!!"

**Ka-boom.**

Sylphid raised her head. "Aren't they... um... cute?"

"You do have a point there," Tabitha said while reading, sounding uninterested. But in all reality, the scene that played in front of her was quite... entertaining, yet cliche. _Maybe I should've done something..._

"Yeah, ye should've!" Sylphid said, as if reading the other one's mind. "You should've..."


	3. Work all Day no Sugar in Your Tay

**Work all Day No Sugar in Your Tay**

Siesta was singing a random song. "Down beneath the railway..."

The chief's proud voice boomed into her delicate ear. "OH DRILL YE TERRIERS DRILL!!!" Siesta jumped up, startled.

_It was just an ordinary day. Siesta would sing a new song, only for the chief to know the rest. As a result, you get:_

"Why... YOU!!!" Siesta punched him into the air. Satisfied, she looked up as the chief further distanced himself due to her work-of-art's strength.

"NARUSEGAWAAAA!!!" With that, he disappeared.

Back in the Tristain Academy, a young master-of-disguise was snooping around, monitoring the conditions and etc. The war has been causing weird effects on people, physically and mentally, and most mishaps have been executed with the free will of the nobles and commoners in the area. Though there could be trouble lurking around who-knows-where, Henrietta was living proof that random people could be spying on the area too.

She looked up, amazed at the maid's strength. Standing behind a pole, as a proper Ayako Kawasumi- voiced character must, Henrietta looked up to the sky. "Ah, the goodness of Horie Yui."

"Back to work..." Siesta started to hum I SAY YES by Ichiko. Just then, she tripped over a crack in the floor. The plate broke, causing a chain reaction of pots making the _greatest music_ much like dominoes, and–

Once upon a time, a male student of the academy committed suicide from rejection to lick Kirche's pineapple-scented–!?

"NO!!" Siesta dragged the storyteller back to the kitchen. "WHAT AM I S'POSED TO DO NOW!? You caused this after all!"

Water from the pot trickled out, making a river and a pile of mush form as it ever so slowly mixed with the sugar sack that exploded. As time passed, and Siesta was too worried to even do anything, Fouquet who was underground directed the sugar and water mix to travel into a nearby hole. _At least the mess was taken care of..._ Siesta sighed, cleaning up the damp trail that the sugar and water 'snake' left behind.

Siesta was looking forward to seeing Saito after such a hectic day; punishment was of high probability. As it was break time, she drank tea. Due to the lack of sugar, she grimaced. "Work all day no sugar in your tay... down beneath the railway..."

"OH DRILL YE TERRIERS DRILL!!" Siesta looked up at Louise's Familiar. _Saito-san... not you too... _She randomly glomped Saito and started the waterworks.

Other than that, the day was ordinary. The snake was gone, and so was Fouquet. But little did they know her plans. Once upon a time, in an underground hideout, Fouquet was petting her new 'snake.' "Mwahahahaha. **Bubbles,** we shall become the richest among richest. You'll help me, right? Scare people, entice them into eating you, only to kill them in the end."

Bubbles, who was already getting tired of the middle-aged woman, let out a hiss and–

Once upon a time, Fouquet yelped out in a drunk fashion. Henrietta, now standing behind a different, yet similar pole shook her head. "She is indeed the new Margery Daw."

End.

hr

As you noticed, I have used a lot of seiyu references.

Siesta's seiyu, Yui Horie has done works of magic as Naru Narusegawa from Love Hina.

Henrietta gets Ayako Kawasumi, who was also the seiyu of Yoshida Kasumi from Shakugan no Shana. The peeking behind poles thing is a joke, as Yoshida is most commonly seen doing so in earlier episodes of Shakugan no Shana.

Margery Daw, another character from Shakugan no Shana is constantly drunk. After hearing Foquet's voice, I thought that they sounded quite similar. Foquet as Margery Daw has fascinated me so I just had to add it here.

I SAY YES by Ichiko is Zero No Tsukaima's (The Familiar of Zero's) Japanese opening for the second season.


	4. April Fools To You!

**April Fools To You!**

Louise fell asleep leaning against a wall; a wall that was part of what's known as the Tristain Academy. Saito decided to take advantage of this and put his plan into action.

"Partner... I never knew you had such mischief in you–!"

"Shut it, Derf. Look. This is one special day and I'm gonna do this right." He looked through the window that was just above Louise. Yup. Her dorm. Saito dashed into her room, receiving many puzzled glances as he made his way around the place. He looked down the window once he reached his destination.

A few feet below was the sleeping Louise. With a random glass of water nearby, and because he managed to learn how to just instantly light candles like everyone else did (Saito in his mind thanked Siesta), he was prepared.

As Louise was sleeping, and almost everyone else in the Academy had their eyes on Saito, Louise was enjoying herself until she heard someone shout, "**LIGHTNING!" **She saw something flash from above but ignored it thinking that this was just a dream. _"Saitoo..."_ Her 'pleasant' get away was disrupted once more.

"**THUNDER!!" **She heard distant banging noises. Annoyed, she rubbed her eyes but it was to late when–!?

"**RAAAAAIN!!"**She was fully awakened after being thoroughly soaked. Everyone was laughing, and she looked up, eyeing the culprit, who in turn said, "APRIL FOOLS!!" Saito leaned out looking as if he would jump out the window. His master, however, was not pleased.

"Saito... HOW DARE YOU!!"

**Ka-Boom.**

After a lot of whippings and kicks-in-da-nutz, Saito explained, "It's... a custom back in my world–!?"

"'MY WORLD' my butt!" She kicked Saito in the head. Saito looked up at the strawberry-blond with a weak smile. "This world... is your butt?"

"IDIOT!"

Saito fell over again. "Or... mine... OKAY I TAKE IT BACK SHEESH! I'm just being who I am and I apologize for all the trouble I have caused you." He stood up, frowned and bowed. "This familiar apologizes to his great and mighty master for all of the troubles he has bestowed upon you with deep honesty."

Louise sighed. "But how do you even _know_ what day it is compared to your world if you can't read? I reckon your calendar is somewhat off? HOW DO YOU KNOW!?"

_**Earlier in the day...**_

After finishing the book Teleporting Random Stuff: For Dummies, Tabitha was randomly sifting through the bookshelf in her room when she came across a box. Blowing the dust off it, she opened it. _Could it be...?_ That box was a portable potion kit with the basic tools and utensils... and a few rare elements carefully packed in. Tabitha then briefly looked back at those days where she'd try out all the weird spells she learned and would scare random people back at home, namely Percerin, the main butler of the Orleans family. They often thought she was wasting her time, not being the princess and proper lady she should be, but she didn't care. Plus, she'd somehow amuse her dad who'd say, "She's just being a kid, and has really good ideas!" and her mom...

Shaking the thought out of her head, the book-worm used the kit to make a potion; that according to the book: "When splattered in a relatively old corner, this potion will... teleport random stuff from far away places to the designated location." Tabitha went along with the directions and finds: a 2007 calendar featuring the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya...

_**In Japan:**_

Kagami is doing her homework and hears a scream from Tsukasa. Rushing into the room, her sister claims that her calendar has disappeared. Kagami shrugs, saying that this is what April Fools is about, either that or she misplaced it.

_**Back**_

Tabitha, bored with the discovery randomly throws it out the window, knowing very well of the situation if someone discovers it. Either that, or it goes unnoticed, decomposing... decomposing... Although she wouldn't admit it, the young mage secretly wanted someone to randomly appear outside from below on a casual stroll and then... BONK!! The unidentified object hits him or her in the face. Although that didn't happen...

Once upon a time Saito was out to do the routine laundry when he comes across a foreign yet familiar object...

_**Flashback End.**_

Louise looked at Saito. "You really do want to go back.. You feel hope that there's still a way, right?"

Saito looked at her in the eye. "Of course I miss home... but if I wanted to go home, I would've gone home earlier when I had the chance. There are people here that I want to protect and... one that day when your family..." his cheeks turned red. Louise, exhausted leaned on him. "Heh. This April Fools thing sounds fun... except..." Realizing her position, she jumped up in embarrassment, pulling out her new whip. "EXCEPT... WHEN YOU ARE THE MASTER OF AN IDIOT DOG THAT TRICKED YOU!! No meals for ONE WEEK! No... FOR A YEAR!" The antics started again and meanwhile...

Kirche was walking along, bored. That successful suicide attempt of her number one fan died out and everyone forgot. She admitted to herself that she wanted something to happen when Tabitha's secret wish was granted. Appearing within range of Tabitha's window was: a person taking a casual stroll. BONK!! An unidentified object hits Kirche in the face... "hmm..." After finding some recognizable letters, she reads out loud, "Heinz... Tomato Ketchup..." She looked up towards the window of her seemingly 'screwed-up' friend. "She's acting so strange... too strange...almost insane, so insane that...hehe..." Kirche thought back on that trashy novel Montmorency lent her. "She just might be in–."

Once upon a time, Fouquet buried her 'snake' that 'expired' for 'unknown reasons.'

Kirche shrugged. "Might as well not do anything about it. She's my friend and... was I really interested in '_Classified Information'_?" Giving a glance at the ketchup bottle, she opened it, taking in the new tomato/vinegar smell. "I'm tired of pineapple..."

**END**

_Kagami/Tsukasa: were from Lucky Star._

_Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: All hail Haruhiism!_

Yea... I was half-asleep writing this but it turns out to be fairly well-written.

I'd love to hear from ZeroNoTsukaima light novel readers and...

Please R&R and give me suggestions for next time's pairing...


	5. The Misunderstood Dance

**THE DANCE**

Saito woke up and looked towards Louise. She was still asleep. He tried to slip out of bed and got his sword Derf. He was bored of the familiar life and following Louise so he decided to pose as someone different; kind of like the way Henrietta poses as a commoner every now and then. April Fools Day ended, but he still felt in the spirit of doing something. He was about to leave when Louise's wand randomly fell off the side table due to Saito's movement. He tripped and hit his shin on a random table leg.

"OOOOOOWWWW!!!!"

Louise woke up and saw Saito doing a strange 'dance', shaking his leg up in the air and hopping, making weird howling sounds. _Finally! He changed his morning dance routine to something more interesting!_ Saito was about to leave when he turned around and saw Louise clapping slightly off beat to his 'dance.'

"A one! A two! A three! A four!" Her eyes were closed and she looked quite quite, smiling and clapping like that. Saito shook those thoughts out of his mind and rubbed his shin; it hurt, but at least it was a bit better. "Ouchie..." Louise blinked. "Jeez... it took you that long to come up with something original. You should have done that dance during the familiar festival! Idiot!" She frowned, trying to hide amusement, or so Saito thought. "Hey! Why'dya stop dancing? Think of it as indirect punishment for April Fools and waking me up!"

"But, Louise... I wasn't actually danci--... GAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAOOOOWCH!!!" Louise kicked him in the already bruised up shin area and he started to shake his leg again, holding in tears of pain. _Be a man, Saito! A MAN!_ Derf. whispered into his ear. _You, the Gandalf , about to cry because of some random bruise!?_ "I'm happy... for now... at least Louise finds this cute..." Saito muttered. "HAH!? TALKING ABOUT ME!?"

"N-no... Louise-sama-- !?"

"Pick up the pace, you're dancing to slow, idiot!"

YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW--!!

Kirche heard the screeching from far away as she ate her breakfast in the grand hall... with Heinz ketchup. "Haha! Darlin's screeching like a cat! I wonder what that Louise is doing to him now... or what she's doing with him..." she winked, giving a suggestive wink to Montmorency, who was reading the second volume of a trashy novel series that Tabitha just got started on, only to become uninterested. How she managed to read such a thing was out of Kirche's comprehension! "I think I'm gonna barf," said Montmorency who closed the book and ran out of the hall.

"It's that bad!?" Kirche yelled out to Montmorency. _Bottling up all the hatred only unleash it out randomly._

Montmorency ran to a discrete place, spotted some running, removed her hands from her mouth and--

Once upon a time, Siesta's maid uniform was stolen and--

Montmorency wiped her face with clean water. "Gosh, I've never threw up so much in my life! It's definitely not the novel. Not... the... novel..."

Meanwhile, Julio passed by Louise and Saito, who was STILL doing the dance. "Unique," he thought. "Never have I seen such a dance; not even in Romalia the holy country itself!" He brushed some of his hair to the side, smiled at Louise, and ran off to hide from his adoring fans. Louise was blushing and looking at Julio. _That idiot... _thought Saito. _That smug noble... Louise... how could you-- wait a second!_ Saito watched as Louise was slightly dazzled and decided to ask Julio for any _updates of plans_ for Henrietta.

Saito was running really fast, not caring where he was going. _I'm out of here! I want some fun, I want to party like a rockstar, and I want to be someone other than me right here! I want to experience not being a familiar, and I am NEVER, EVER, doing that stupid dance agai--!?_

"OH SHIIIIIIIT!!" Saito couldn't stop running, and was really close to crashing into Tabitha. However, by instinct, Tabitha attacked Saito with a simple attack that brought back memories of her carefree childhood.

THWACK The staff that was much bigger than her hit Saito in the shin, and--

Once upon a time, Siesta, who was in her night clothes still, was chasing after Guiche's mole who stole her maid outfit because of the blue jewel. Guiche was chasing his mole, the chief chasing Guiche and Siesta, and Montmorency chasing Guiche misunderstanding the situation close to barfi--!!

"NOFATEWHYMEWHYDOIHAVETOBEDOINGTHEDANCEAGAINIHAFTAGETOUTTAHEREBUTNONONO!ISTILLBEDOINGTHISSTUPIDDANCEANDMYGETAWAYWASRUINEDBYTABITHAOUTOFALLPEOPLEWHYMEWHYMEWHYMEOHMIGODOHMIGODHELPHELPHELP..." Saito was doing his 'dance' all over again...

Tabitha quietly counted and clapped to the beat, and Saito's dance drew more people towards him.

"I... am... not... dancing!... My... shin... is... close... to... bleeding... now... and... Louise... help... me..."

KA-BOOM!!

Saito looked up and saw Louise. The tears he tried to hide started to poor out. "Why... me..." He passed out, his shin area bleeding from that final blow.

"PARTNER!!! BE STRONG!!!" cried Derf.

Saito woke up and saw Louise. He was about to speak but she stopped him.

"You were a star out there... I guess I ought to be proud..." She looked at him. "Saito, sorry for using you like that."

Saito smiled. "Louise I--!?"

"HOWEVER!" Louise got up and looked at him square-in-the-eyes. "For trying to sneak out and do something stupid, the fact I now approve of your overused dance, and the fact that you were close to injuring Tabitha, I'll NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU!!"

"LOUISE!?!?!?!?!?!" Louise got out the new and longer whip from her sister, and Saito gulped. Derf. whispered to him, a sword close to tears as well. "Partner... be a man... accept your destiny..."

"SHUT UP!" Saito and Louise shouted.

"Jinx..." said Louise, smirking, and fiddling around with the horsewhip.

"YOU'RE JINXED SO DON'T SAY ANYTHING YOU DOG!!"

Kirche looked to Montmorency who was sobbing and Guiche who was trying to comfort her while scolding his mole. Kirche decided to sob as well, not only feeling sorry for the 'two happy couples', but she was running out of Heinz Ketchup. "I COULD HAVE SOLD IT FOR A FORTUNE!!!"

Life goes on.


End file.
